I'll fly away

E-word,

It's definitely a combination of El still being in Seoul, boredom, and loneliness that makes me such a prolific poster of late. So, it's a Monday night and I'm hanging out at home, drinking some beer, surfing and watching a tivo'd Simpsons episode, and I check my email and see that Jen-nay has sent me an email.(!) I have a linkedin web page, which I thought was a good idea because it points to my name, and I'm hoping any curious diggers will be satisfied with that and dig no further. Anyway, Jen-nay sent me an email and said hey, it's been a while and add me as a connection, darnit! not in those words but in the kind of forceful way she can have when you're not screwing her, I mean if you're screwing her she's as gentle as can be, but if you're not she's really a no bull-shit kind of gal. As an aside I can't believe how many times I tried to feel her up after we broke up, but she had some really big tits and I was drawn to them, what can I say.

So, anyway, I added her as a connection or whatever and now I'm wondering whether or not I should get in touch with her, because mature or not I don't really want to get in touch with her, I'm rather more comfortable with just randomly googling her when I'm bored and my mind wanders and keep our relationship at that, but now I guess we're 'linked' or whatever, and I'll just have to explain to El if she asks who Jen-nay is that she's just a person I knew at my old job.

You know, I'm such a weird guy. Like, really. I'm so uncomfortable in my own skin, like despite appearances I'm really not comfortable with myself, when I think of myself and my interactions with people, it's like I'm this nervous dude who can't look people in the eye, and says strange things and maybe my nervousness rubs off on other people making them uncomfortable as well. Like, I have moments, I can be charming and interesting and maybe too interested sometimes, but overall I'm just a weird, constipated dude. The reason why I'm saying all this is because I don't want to be honest about the past, especially about girls I've dated, I'd rather just file them away in the back of my life and open them up when my wanders, but the problem with girls I've dated or whatever (not like there are even that many, but I guess it's enough and the dag-gone world has gotten so small because of the stupid internet) is that they are sentient beings that maybe think of me as well and have a notion to get in touch with me, and since I have that stupid linkedin webpage it makes it easy for them to do so. I still think it's better than having someone search through links to find out information about me, by the way, but still, it's all stupid.

So, to get to my point AGAIN, I actually started an email, but I had no idea what to write, because it would all just be pleasantries without even a whiff of sincerity, because even though Jen-nay was a cool girlfriend (with great tits), I really don't have anything to say to her. I'm interested in her in the way a kid is interested in like finding Madagascar on the globe. 'Where is Madagascar, where is Madagascar,' and the globe is spinning around, 'Ah, here it is. I guess it's part of Africa!' I mean that's all a kid needs to know, and really that's about all I need or care to know about my exes.

So I'm not going to send her an email because I ain't got nothin' to say, and plus I added her as a 'connection' or whatever, I've done my part!

Love,

Toe