Ashtray floors

E-word,

I am still studying for this exam I have tonight at 7. This is horrible. While I'm starting to get the gist of what I'm doing, I realize that as an 'old' student (that's what El's mom calls me) this kind of study has caused me to become quite ascetic. I've barely left the house since I came home from work on Friday, eating what food is available and drinking the occasional red bulls when I'm starting to come down a little bit. This is my life. I feel a bit like a monk, sitting at my table with a desk lamp memorizing verses, or whatever monks do.

This weekend has been ridiculous. I called in sick today because I was having panic attacks about my exam. This shit is crazy, it's no wonder I was such a bad student; putting this much effort into studying stresses me the fuck out.

Well, better get back to the grindstone. I've got a few more hours here before my test. I'm feeling a lot better than I did this morning, tell you what. I was freaking out.

Have a good day in D_b.

Toe