1 + 1 - 1 = 1

E-word,

I've kind of been in a daze the last couple of days. With coming back from NY, work being hectic, and school heaping up on me I feel like I'm staring at a fifty foot wall. Where do I start.

It's been an illuminating couple of days. I've been thinking about what you said about having only been married for a short time. It's so very true. There are still girls that I've dated for longer than El and I have been married, and I have to remember that I have to continue to learn and not grow complacent with out marriage.

I think that El has a much more mature attitude toward marriage than I do. I don't think that divorce is an option for her, whereas sometimes I think that I could just give up, which I think is very sad. I hate that I can think like that at all. I've had to 'man up', or something with regards to our marriage. Living apart like this wears on me, I can't stop thinking that this is not normal, this is not how it should be, but those thoughts are meaningless. We're in a situation and we have to make the best of it. I have to support my wife in every single way that I can, I have to have her back. We're MARRIED. This is not dating. We made a promise to each other, and I have to remember that.

I'm pretty tired today. I don't want to buckle down and do work. I want to lie in a daze on the sofa for a few hours, and pass out with the tv on. I'm such a useless guy, it's just who I am.

Oh, when are you next in town? I know you told me... Eh, it'll be good to see you again.

Hope all is well.

Toe