Why do we keep shrieking, when we mean soft things?

Dear E-word,

I think I'm a pretentious fuck. I was watching this video of 100,000 Fireflies as performed by the Magnetic Fields, and I was thinking fuck, I missed this tour of theirs, dammit, and I love this song, and I realized as I was watching the video, these numbnut motherfuckers don't know this damn song! They all start laughing when he says 'it makes me want to kill myself'. It's funny, but damn, if you knew the song you wouldn't burst out laughing, you aren't real fans, you just jumped on the 69 love songs bandwagons, you don't deserve my magnetic fields, you fucks! Well, it sounded like maybe 4 or 5 people in the audience knew the song, but still, it hurts my heart that these fuckwits, these, whatever the fuck they are motherfuckers are seeing MY gay ass Magnetic Fields and I'm not, and I love this band more than they ever could they just don't know! They don't know who Susan Anway is, the woman who first sang the song on the record 'Distant Plastic Trees' which is fucking crazy in this easy access internet age, how can they not know this fucking song, it's on the fucking internet, how are you not all experts of the band, are you just going because, because, I fucking hate you, you should be fucking experts! Fuck! If I were at that concert and you knuckleheads starting laughing during that part of the song I'd be so pissed, I'd be like 'shut the fuck up, shut up shut up you fucking pretentious fucktards, you don't love this band why the fuck are you here who are you trying to impress you can buy the goddamned t-shirt on the internet fuck you fuck you fuck you! And while you're buying the goddamned t-shirt why don't learn about the fucking band a little bit and not ruin the goddamned moment by laughing during the song, fuck you, you didn't listen to the cd (well, I'll take this moment and admit I don't keep it as real as some. Evidently the first recording came out in 1991, and I didn't pick up the record until they released it on a cd with 'The Wayward Bus' in 1994, and honestly I didn't really probably pick this up until like 1995, sometimes full disclosure hurts the soul) on repeat while you went to sleep did you you fuckers, did you?

I lost a little steam there with the whole well maybe I'm not keeping it real interlude, but suffice to say that I was into this band at least like 4 years before the rest of you fuckers picked up 69 love songs. and ya'll probably picked it up after, you didn't get the special little box set thing, you probably bought the thing on itunes or something, I'm still better than you!

Blah.

Love,

Toe