Why do we keep shrieking, when we mean soft things?

Dear E-word,

I think I'm a pretentious fuck. I was watching this video of 100,000 Fireflies as performed by the Magnetic Fields, and I was thinking fuck, I missed this tour of theirs, dammit, and I love this song, and I realized as I was watching the video, these numbnut motherfuckers don't know this damn song! They all start laughing when he says 'it makes me want to kill myself'. It's funny, but damn, if you knew the song you wouldn't burst out laughing, you aren't real fans, you just jumped on the 69 love songs bandwagons, you don't deserve my magnetic fields, you fucks! Well, it sounded like maybe 4 or 5 people in the audience knew the song, but still, it hurts my heart that these fuckwits, these, whatever the fuck they are motherfuckers are seeing MY gay ass Magnetic Fields and I'm not, and I love this band more than they ever could they just don't know! They don't know who Susan Anway is, the woman who first sang the song on the record 'Distant Plastic Trees' which is fucking crazy in this easy access internet age, how can they not know this fucking song, it's on the fucking internet, how are you not all experts of the band, are you just going because, because, I fucking hate you, you should be fucking experts! Fuck! If I were at that concert and you knuckleheads starting laughing during that part of the song I'd be so pissed, I'd be like 'shut the fuck up, shut up shut up you fucking pretentious fucktards, you don't love this band why the fuck are you here who are you trying to impress you can buy the goddamned t-shirt on the internet fuck you fuck you fuck you! And while you're buying the goddamned t-shirt why don't learn about the fucking band a little bit and not ruin the goddamned moment by laughing during the song, fuck you, you didn't listen to the cd (well, I'll take this moment and admit I don't keep it as real as some. Evidently the first recording came out in 1991, and I didn't pick up the record until they released it on a cd with 'The Wayward Bus' in 1994, and honestly I didn't really probably pick this up until like 1995, sometimes full disclosure hurts the soul) on repeat while you went to sleep did you you fuckers, did you?

I lost a little steam there with the whole well maybe I'm not keeping it real interlude, but suffice to say that I was into this band at least like 4 years before the rest of you fuckers picked up 69 love songs. and ya'll probably picked it up after, you didn't get the special little box set thing, you probably bought the thing on itunes or something, I'm still better than you!

Blah.

Love,

Toe

Is it really so strange?

E-word,

I say no, you say yes but you will change your mind!

So, I got back from Seoul last Saturday. El is still there, so I am not being terribly useful, I'm afraid. I realize that half the shit, actually all the shit I strive for are because of her, and if I weren't married I wouldn't give two fucks about my career and would likely be laid the fuck off right now and probably fairly happy. I guess it's a good thing I'm married! This is the shit I think about while I'm driving to work. Career success? What the hell, I don't care about that. I really don't. I just worked, did barely above the minimum, just kept my nostrils above the waterline. Since I've married I've strove to blah blah blah, who says strove anyway, striven, etc.

I had a pretty strong beer tonight. The damn thing cost ten dollars. It's called World Wide Stout and Dogfish Head Ale makes it. What the flying fag, ten dollars, I mean really. It has pretty high alcohol content at least, so I'm happy? It's probably safer to say I'm flushing.

Man, where am I going with this. My Friday has been pretty exciting. I mowed the lawn a second time this season. My lawn is so stupid big it took nearly two freaking hours. I should have really hired someone to mow my darn lawn, but I'm like principally against shit like that. I don't really take great pleasure in mowing my lawn, well, actually, maybe I do now that it's my damn house, man shit really changes in life, like, I care about shit. I care about my house looking nice and shit. I want to keep up with the Smiths and the Lowensteins and the Changs next door, I want the Jahabis to be pleased that my lawn is cared for, that I've done all the appropriate edging, etc.

After I mowed the lawn I took the stupid dog for a walk. I then came home and did nothing. Man, my Friday is rocking! Well, I drank that beer. I'm also craving an ice-cream sandwich. My life rules! Not! Does anyone say that anymore? How about sike? Does anyone say that? How about psyche?

I'm delirious! I'm a maniac! Let the good times roll!

OK! I'm ending this post because I'm not making sense!

Sayonara, Mothafucka!

Love,

Toe