Has it been this long?  2013?  What really did happen?

We got old.

We got old and didn't even realize it.  My best friend when growing up, he sold his companies and moved to Paris.  My favorite girl, the one I nearly got with when we were young, she works six months and does charity the rest of the time.

Me?  I barely scrape by being an hourly grill cook at a higher end restaurant.  I used to be that guy, that chef, he knew his shit.  I'm doing it because I'm not good for anything else.  I was offered the sous chef at my place.  Not only is my head not right, I'm just not physically able to do so.

*

I look at my hands, and yeah, they are still firm and the skin is tight. But I see the age creeping in.  I see it in my face, finally.  I can feel the firmness in my hands, the callouses reminding me of the meat and fish I've handled, the knives I've wielded and known, but it's dispiriting.  I've done my best.  But I didn't do my best.