I can turn and walk away or I can fire the gun

E-word,

I think that taking some time off to only write is one of the greatest things I've ever heard. It's so great that your spouse is your biggest believer. I'm a big believer, too. If you plan your time (are you going to prepare like Hunter Thompson? 100 tabs of LSD, 200 Ecstasy pills, four ounces of weed, five boxes of no-doze, 100 grams of cocaine, 100 amphetamine pills, dilaudid, ether, and 20 liters of Wild Turkey) you'll get a whole ton accomplished. Or die. Something will happen. I know that this is still in the gestation stage, but are you leaning toward a novel or short stories?

I mentioned this to El, and she told me that in the future when she starts working again, she'll let me take some time off, too. I will likely not get anything done, and spend most of my time puttering around the backyard picking weeds and stray grass clippings.

Lately we've been digging out of snowmageddon, snowverkill, whatever, and I've lucked out and have not had to go to work for over a week. Last week made me regret that I am not independently wealthy, because I could really truly live without having to go to work. I ended up spending about 3-4 hours every day shoveling snow and not being terribly productive, but I loved it. El and I got on one another's nerves, but I'd still rather deal with her crankiness than have to deal with work.

Anyway, you're right. We should talk soon, and please keep me updated on your writing plans. There is a ton of goodness in it, really.

Love,

Toe

PS: John Berryman

Toe,
Just looked at the link to all the writers who were druggies or alcho-holicos. Wow. I didn't realize some of these people had such substance problems. I did, however, know about John Berryman. If you have any patience for weird poetry, I recommend him highly. I absolutely love his sonnets to his mistress (can't remember what the cycle is called). They are so sexy, yet so utterly hard to decipher. Once you break through to the meaning, though, it is always rewarding.

Oh, and that photo of Faulkner--is it just me, or does he look kind of sexy in those dark socks and short pants?
Love,
E-word

I could have been someone! Well, so could anyone.

Hi Toe,
I loved your two recent posts. The photo redux is awesome. I think my siblings would get into such a thing, as we're a sentimental bunch. The photo would not be in front of such a magnificent natural site, though--it would probably be in front of the Lincoln Memorial or a pizza joint where we all ate at one point in the 80s or something.

That Pogues song is awesome. I used to love that album. In the early 90s, I used to wake up in my decrepit room, usually hungover from too much cheap whiskey, and listen to that album on cassette. "If I should fall from the grace of God...." was the first line of the album, I think, and it certainly suited the way I felt. Thanks for posting that song.

Thanks for the update, too. I am with you on the work. And the house stuff. I'm glad to hear your house is good. I can't wait to see it one of these days. Enjoy the lawnmowing and powerwashing. You probably will get into all of that stuff and start to love it.

Here we have to get our roof done, reroute some ducts so our pipes don't freeze, and do some minor plumbing repairs. Fortunately, my work has been really steady, and C is bringing in some extra dough with extra hours at work, so we are fairly flush for the moment. It's just so hard knowing how much all this is going to cost, and that the money will soon all go into the house.

On the topic of extra income, I've been thinking more and more about seriously writing a novel or more short stories. I've stated this desire before, in the past year, but something is very different now. C is very supportive--she's always been, but now she is going to work extra this summer so I can take a few weeks off to write. I don't think I have ever felt so believed-in by someone. So I am feeling some pressure to get something done, but it is a good feeling, especially knowing that the summer is a little ways off, and I have time to plan what I want to write.

As I type all that out, I realize what a big deal it is for me. I feel like it is my last chance at seriously doing something I've dreamed of, and maybe be someone someday.

Yes, like the rest of my family, I am very sentimental.

OK, rambling here, and not being especially articulate. We should talk soon. So much going on, sometimes I feel like I just need to talk and talk. Most of the time I just shut up and have another beer.

Love,
E-word