E-word,
Awesome rhythm guitar tones, my brotha. I say awesome, but I do truly have to take your word on it.
In other news, my birthday was almost a week and a half ago. El had a very nice little surprise party for me, and some good pals showed up. I ended up drinking too much, puking, alienating my wife a bit, and popping a blood vessel in my eye (from the force of puking) for all my efforts. El ended up calling her mother to tell her about my somewhat pathetic reaction to the drinking, and her mom actually said thank God that your husband has such a low tolerance, unlike your father.
Some interesting stories, lately. I got a good one for you, but I have to be vague on the identities of individuals. A friend of a friend is married to a lady who works with high school retards, and is such a kind-hearted gal that she lets retards stay at her place for god knows what reason. Anywho, the high school retards that she lets stay at her house are invariably female, as she herself is female. Anyway, one retard girl (and I'm being unfair here. I don't think they are actually really retarded, but they are slow enough to require further attention, or something, but retard is so jarring a word I'm going to continue using it) ends up flirting with the friend of a friend, actually lifting up her shirt when the the friend of a friend's wife walks out of the room. Well, as you may imagine (otherwise there wouldn't be a story, right?) the friend of a friend fucks the retard. At this point I'm going to call the friend of a friend a retard, too, because fuck, that's fucking retarded.
Anyways these two fucking retards end up fucking every chance they get. Don't forget, one retard's married, and the other retard's in fucking high school, though ha, I've been there somewhat but the girl I dated had dropped out of high school and was in community college and was far from retarded, pretty bright but whatever. Anyway, this is of course on the down low, and what's fucked is when the retard moves out of the house, the retards still end up finding one another and fucking. And getting back to it, it's not entirely clear whether or not this girl had hit the age of consent.
Now this is a fucked up story, right? Well, it gets worse. The retard's ma find out about the retard's fucking, because the retard girl can't keep her mouth shut, I mean that's some heavy shti to keep to yourself, you're fucking like your friend or counselor's husband or some shit, that's gotta weigh on you no matter how retarded you are. So anyway the retard's mom finds out, and it turns out her fucking ma is friends with the retard's wife's ma. For some reason they don't tell the retard's wife, but tell the retard to tell the wife that he's been boinking an underaged retard.
And this being the nuclear bomb of fucked-up stories, it gets worse. How can it get worse, do you ask? Well, in wondering that you're probably thinking aw fuck, someone's the fuck pregnant, aint' they? To cut to the chase it's not the retard that's pregnant, but the retard's wife who evidently is as big as a fucking house and is giving birth imminently.
When I heard the story I was actually speechless. Retard set off a fucking nuclear bomb. Everything goes to shit, everything. Everything. Motherfucker might go to jail, and I gotta think it's more fucked up fucking a retard than someone who is not a retard.
Um, so. That' s all I got. I'll try sucking less at updating.
Love,
Toe
ps. It would've been awesome if you were at my birthday thing, and but so.
Labels: Birthday, retards, rhythm guitar tones
