False categories

You know what, this is Grup thing is a totally false category. Rock and Roll in the 50s was an entirely new thing, and anyone older than 30 just was not going to understand it. For better or for worse, rock became a product that has continued to be repackaged and sold to each succeeding generation, and as long as the music is appealing and harkens back to earlier forms, it will sell, and it will sell to young people as well as people who used to be young and into rock music. It's a form of music, like popular jazz, that is universally appealing.

I'm willing to bet, too, that there is a lot more of a generation gap than the people in this article are aware of. Saying "We both can appreciate the same music" is like saying "We both like McDonald's French Fries"--the music they're talking about is marketed to as wide an audience as possible.

This isn't to say that there isn't music out there that isn't driving Grups as crazy as NWA or the Clash drove their parents. Christ, have any of these people heard the crappy metal/punk bands teenage boys listen to these days? They're close to unlistenable. If I could find more than 1 in 10 teenage boys into Death Cab for Cutie, I would be shocked.

But I think the article is pointing toward a real phenomenon of people not really growing up. But I think this is not as common as they think, and may actually be relegated to New York and California. Has this reporter seen the serious-faced government workers schlepping down the street in DC?

You just think it looks cool!

Fucking scumbags, the whole lot of them. Well, shit. I'm a little conflicted, to be honest, though I won't back down on my belief that these fuckos are fuckos.

No, these guys are definitely self-important fuckos. The writer of this article must be the most self-important fucko of all of them. God, fuck, the more I read this horrible, horrible article, the more I want to move to Kansas. Or something. Fuck. Definitely conflicted.

Waltzing Mathilda

E-word,

I hear you on the morbid fascination. Remember a few years back when those snipers were going apeshit in the metro area? Those guys were killing people on same route as my commute. I actually saw the bullet hole that went through this woman's head into the glass of the restaurant in front of which she was sitting. I felt very ashamed after I went out of my way to see this bullet hole, but yeah, I defintely felt that fascination.

Yeah, you did live in the DC area during the crack thing, didn't you? Oy.

So I've been preoccupied with this take-home midterm for the last week or so. It was a pretty big exam, which is expected from take-home exams, I guess. Going to school hasn't been so bad, but when I think of the eight more classes I have to take, it tires me out. Slow and steady wins the race, I'm still shooting for three years.

Life hasn't been terribly interesting recently. I have started taking ginseng on a regular basis. El, concerned with my lack of energy, chatted with her mom who recommended that I take Korean red ginseng. It has apparently worked for me, though I'm noting that it makes me a bit agitated, especially immediately after taking it.

Well, that's it. It's sunny and warmer out here at G*, I'm so glad I can see the sky from my desk.

Murder in the red barn

There was a shooting here in town last night, about 6 blocks from here. It was the first murder here in 4 years, something I take comfort in, obviously. Odd how a shooting in a small town is so much a bigger event than in a city. I remember living in DC and watching the body count go up throughout the year. I may not be remembering correctly, but I remember one year I lived there the murder count topped 400. I remember seeing a cop shooting at someone right in front of my apartment building. Detectives came to my door and asked me what I saw (which wasn't much--I was 9 storeys up and only saw the cop shoot, not the other guy).

I'm tempted to walk down to the crime scene. I tell myself that it's because this is my town now, and I should care, but really I think I'm just morbidly fascinated.

Jewish Silver

Toe, thought you would enjoy this podcast interview with David Berman. He talks about his recent religious thoughts, mostly, but also plays a Walt Whitman poem set to music.
(uh, for some reason, I'm having trouble publishing the link--here it is, pasted: http://www.nextbook.org/cultural/feature.html?id=309


Hope you're well. It's cloudy and warm in the flatlands today.

Cold Water

Hey man, glad you're back on the log. No need to apologize. It's been a spare couple of weeks for me, too. And I'm not in grad school, either, so I have no good excuse.

A couple of weeks ago I was listening to that mix CD you made me a few years back. I was driving around the flatness here, among the farms, and I tell you, it's one of the best mix CDs for driving by yourself on an overcast day. One thing I like about it is that, with a few exceptions, the songs are all by bands I have not heard much of, and I found that I like almost all of them.

That said, in the years since you gave me the CD, I have not bought a single CD or downloaded music by any of these bands. It's not that I don't like music--I do, quite a bit--but I think I just stopped obtaining new music.

I used to think this was a twofold issue involving time and money (lack of the first, a different sense of where to put the second), but I wonder, too, if it is a slow closing of my mind. I mean, I liked that Spinanes song, and especially that Archers of Loaf song. And I have bought a few CDs in the past years. Why didn't I buy one by one of these bands?

Beyond these newer bands, there is the issue of acquiring more music by people I already love, like Tom Waits. Why haven't I bought any CDs by them?

I have no answer for these questions.

It snowed here last night. Winter hangs on here, man. Our Hawaiian friend down the hall is probably freaking out.

Anyway, hope you have a good Friday, and an excellent weekend!

Where were you when the sun went down on that Autumn day

E-word,

Sorry for neglecting our log. I've started a couple entries, but had them fizzle out about a tenth of the way in. I'm working on a take home midterm, and it absorbs most of my attention through out the day. I need to be more balanced with regards to school. I have one last problem to do tonight, but I have to start rewriting the previous problems.

That spamusement thing is pure genius, btw, and I'm also glad you're feeling better. Spring can't roll around soon enough, this overly long winter is bringing us all down.

Today I met my friend M@ for lunch, and he's a good bit younger at 25, so young that I sometimes get surprised by it. We talked about music a little bit, and I told him my point of view that searching out new music is a young man's game, and he told me he'd be surprised if he wasn't searching out music when he was older. On reflection, I think I realized that what made me really stop looking for new bands is that honestly only about 5% of anything new I hear is something I'll listen to in a year, and I'm too cranky and impatient nowadays to dig through the crap to find the very VERY few gems. I can rattle off a shit ton of music that was hot-ish when it came out that now I think is either remarkably lame or just unmemorable. The very first one that pops to mind is the Promise Ring. The Promise Ring?!? I mean, really.

I did recently buy 'Small Change' by Tom Waits, along with 'Electr-o-Pura' by Yo La Tengo. 'Small Change' is remarkable, by the way. I love hearing stuff like this for the first time, these great records that aren't really hidden, but are still new and amazing to me.

I'm listening to the Orchids right now. I love this music, it's like a page out of my history, back when I was a twee little indie popper. I think of who I am now, and it's kind of funny to me that I loved and listened to this pussified music, considering that I don't think I look like a twee pussified person.

Anyway, I hope this outburst means I'll stop being so lame about updating.

Spamusement

I don't know why I find most of these so funny, but I do. Is it just me? Do other people find themselves laughing hysterically at this site? Toe? Back me up here.

http://spamusement.com/

Cold Tuesday

Hey man, sorry I've been out of touch. Have had a ridiculous amount of catching up to do with work. Plus, I caught a nasty cold from the nieces. This has to be one of the worst colds that I've ever had. It's almost gone, I think, but today I am feeling kind of like I have chills or something. Not a good sign.

Colds are just viruses (viri?) that use us to reproduce, right? I suppose they've succeeded in reproducin ' this long because it's so easy to catch a cold. A germy doorhandle or handshake will do it. I was thinking, though, what if, like our own DNA, it reproduced itself by causing pleasure in some way? What if, everytime you had a cold, food tasted better and your sense of touch was heightened so that you could feel, say, each individual grain of dust on your desk, and orgasms and silk shirts were much more wonderful feeling. Wouldn't everyone want colds? We would all pay to have colds. Man, those cold viri would be so successful.

What will happen if the virus mutates in this way? Why won't viruses mutate in this way? Why can't mine?

I've had a miserable week. Colds suck. I'm glad it's almost over.

God used me as a hammer, boys

E-word,

You are both venting and bragging, and there is no better place to do it than here! You are indeed lucky to have the kind of freedom you have right now. Especially on days like today, when it warm, windy, and sunny, there is nothing I'd like better than to be at home, chilling on the sofa with the windows open and some music on. Working at home is a good thing, though I also understand being conflicted about it as well. There are down sides to your work. Every time you take a vacation, you know that you are willingly not getting paid, and everytime you can't work because of illness is the same.

Sorry for not keeping up my end of this log. I'll try to be better next week. Let's talk again about what we talked about last Friday soon, or maybe go over some stuff.

Take care,

Toe

There is a light and it never goes out

When in doubt, use a Smiths lyric for a heading.

I'm feeling slightly disconnected from my job today. I think I need to stop thinking of myself as working for people at a distance and just start looking at my job as being here, in my home office. And I have to keep reminding myself about how depressing working in an actual office setting can be. Working from home, I've grown to love not feeling the slight paranoia at the possibility of a boss peering into my office, or the feeling of melancholy that hovers over a group of people quietly doing office work. Maybe I'm projecting, but I always sense that sadness.

I'm going to put music on and work at my own pace. Then I am going for a walk. I'm not telling anyone what I am doing (except for you, Toe). And next week I will work in a cafe somewhere on the coast, tapping into some wireless network to send emails. My virtual face will always be the same, and the people I work for will never sense a slackening of work pace nor a decrease in quality. I am that good. But because I am working wherever whenever I want, I will be happier.

Happier, but not entirely happy. Work is still work, and one curse to being a whitecollar freelancer is that you can carry your work wherever you go. I love this sometimes, at others I hate it. Why can't I just take a vacation like normal people? I mean, aside from the fact that I have no pool of vacation hours, or even sick leave?

Am I venting? Or am I bragging?

Heart on heart crime

E-word,

Good morning, on this my 33 years and 4 days on earth. I agree with you about celebrating birthdays. Despite my saying 'birthdays have become unremarkable days', my birthday would have just about rocked if El was around to celebrate with me. On my 32nd year, El made a surprise visit to me while I was still at work, which was really sweet. My friend Rajiv and her made plans to surprise me, which was nice.

A very nice weekend was had, and when I'm feeling less exhausted and braindead, I'll write on it. Hope you had a good weekend, E-word. It as good chatting with you, even if it was only briefly.

Toe

Happy birthday!

So, Happy Birthday! It sounds like you have some plans for the weekend, which is good. What can beat Sushi in NYC (aside form sushi in Japan)?

I hear you about the unremarkability of birthdays. I feel similarly. I think it comes from growing older. Only decades become milestones, whereas in your 20s, the difference between 21 and 24 was a vast one. Only the difference between, say, 33 and 43 can really compare.

I would prefer not to celebrate mine. But a part of me is really touched when we do. The part that isn't would prefer just to forget how old I am and just live.

Thanks for saying what you said about my earlier post. I needed that validation. It is good that we keep in touch this way.

Have an awesome time up in NYC. It must be cool having a studio up there, a place to lay your head.

Postcards from paradise

E-word,

I posted my entry before I even knew you had put one up. Thanks for saying that, I'll make sure not to stop corresponding with you. I also don't think it's unlikable to not keep in touch with friends far away. Proximity is important, and friendships are often fluid things. It's hard to stay tight with friends who are far away, when they aren't part of your daily life. It would be a good thing to add local friends, but I think that works itself out in time.

I think you should get props for even keeping in touch, nothing sounds strange, sometimes thinking out loud can sound strange.

Toe

I've come to wish you an unhappy birthday, because you're evil and you lie

E-word,

I am 33 years old today. The years pass, and the good years and bad years all kind of blend together. I remember thinking, gosh, 31 was a good year, and 30 was a bad year, but now they all seem the same. I can't even remember my 29th year all that well without concentrating on it.

Birthdays have become unremarkable days, though I still remember feeling like a ton of weight was dropped on my shoulders when I turned 30. I was not dating anyone, and my parents had decided to live in Seoul permanently. They sold the family house. Both of my brothers got married during my 30s. We went to the Grand Canyon in my 30th year. I made out with a stripper at a strip club in my 30th year. Funny the things I remember.

Anyway, yes. Today is unremarkable. My wife is working her butt of in NY, and I'll be taking the train up there tomorrow afternoon. We're going to a highly rated sushi restaurant (Sushi of Gari) very close to our studio for my birthday dinner tomorrow night, and I'm going to buy some tax software to start filing to get my refund. Woohoo, good times, good times.

Toe

Post, USPS and ether

Wrote an e-note to an old friend from high school and college. He's mailed letters to me and emailed me over the years pretty regularly, with updates about his life and clippings from articles he's read or written (he's a reporter in another country), but I have only written him once or twice a year, maybe less.

I used to be a really great correspondent. I actually used to write letters to friends, and would receive a letter once a week from someone somewhere. This was before the days of email, about 15 years ago. I don't know what happened to me, but it's been a gradual thing, this falling away from corresponding. I guess part of the reason is that I developed a circle of local friends, so I fell out of touch with distant friends because the local friends took more of my time. But how unlikable is that? I ditch the old friends for the new? Who do I think I am?

Don't let me do that to you, man. OK, I'm not making any local friends, but still, when I do, now that I am aware of this problem, I'll be able to avoid it, right? I want to be posting my friends, not post-friends.

OK, I'm sounding somewhat strange to myself, maybe even desperate and self-involved. Stop me now.